these are strange times filled with wicked deeds done by men and women of all shape and creed. we've all been dragged into this state of existence, forced to survive by whatever means necessary. one can quite literally feel the weight of it all upon stepping outside. even the weather pushes down on your shoulders after you leave the safety of your home. maybe there isn't any safe zone anymore, just less mind-numbingly disastrous on a variant scale of Armageddon. were there ever safe zones?
and yet, i find myself feeling resolute. championed. madness, you'll say. surely a just assumption, considering the reality of the staggering nation. but i'm breaking out of old skin here (literally), shedding the past and staring at the future's throat, hoping soon enough the warm taste of iron will coat my mouth. then again, this plan is only surface.
perhaps it's all my perspective. for the past few weeks i've been working on character biographies and general storyline for a video game based around the criminal element. junkies, thieves, murderers, they lurk around every corner. and i created every single one of them. these people watch me from the inside, whispering my horrible secrets to me, laughing sharply from the dark. each one of them steals a small part of me, absorbing every abstract particle and manipulating it to suit their personal desires. nothing else will ever be so clear. there are some days i wish to simply disappear, observing these creatures in a chaotic environment they have no understanding of. i become an omnipotent mist, my only intention being study. take away the brain and the body just fades into nothing.
appropriate.
is the world really coming to an end before my eyes? perhaps it's all my perspective.
and yet again, here i am. championed and no fucking apologies. the insomniatic nights are gone for now, i've had my release. since thursday i have glided through days effortlessly. frozen florida winds tearing through the streets haven't even hindered my mood, though they effect my chemistry - a few extra strength excedrin have been companion enough to stave off the back pangs.
lo and behold, jolly! triumph! we're doing fine, quite literally.
after receiving my needle and ink therapy early thursday afternoon there are few worries that cross my path. even after, sitting out front of trinity tattoo in the cold breeze, i could feel the warmth from my knee spreading across my consciousness. i could feel that cleansing wash of needle and ink, and i calmed.
so where's the lesson you ask?
the lesson is a map.
the map is me.
just, do me a favor... don't stare awkwardly. you can ask what it is.
i won't kill you.
not for that.
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