a brave new world, precisely like the last...

this post is a test, of sorts. all sorts, really. an operational test, word-usage test, typing test, to name the first few.
everything is in tact so far, few minor snags along the way. although, the title did stump me for a while. until i landed squarely on this, "five dead zebra." how do we like it? seemed appropriate to me somehow, and maybe to you, which is unlikely. but i think with time you'll see that it makes sense. especially in regards to this chaos.

this first night i can't truly think of anything to write. there's too much clawing to get outside of my head again. maybe i can just sum up the past for now, the past until now. i found this writing on my computer that should do it, at least it will attempt to. it's nothing fancy, just this:

"We are a generation of children left to our own devices in a world supposedly over flowing with possibilities for the future. The Baby Boomers presented us the entire world on a golden platter saying, “Anything you see, you can have, or be.” So we reached our hands out, extending our fingers towards those few morsels we each felt a strange draw to, and for a while the future was a brilliant light in a one-way tunnel that we knew we’d eventually reach. A few years later their promises fell through and the tunnel collapsed in, ultimately stranding us in our belief that the world had no meaning. Suddenly our direction changed and instead of heading straight for the light at the end of that tunnel, we decided to stay in the darkness and absorb all that it had to offer us. Trapped in our darkness, we found tranquility.

Now our existence is simple. Our reasons are simple and knowing there is no truer moment than the one at hand means absolutely nothing can stop us. We were driven by desperation to find something better than being the lost generation; a twenty-year time span filled with degenerates and guinea pigs, hybrids of the era. We party hard, we break our ribs and wrists in mosh pits, we cover our skin in tattoos. We’ve lost our hope and no longer have any reason to wish for hope. Still, we stand at the brink of this world staring into the void, refusing to turn away out of simple stubbornness.

For us the American Dream is dead; a long extinct ideal the prehistoric nation clings to for posterity sake. During our childhood it was dangled in front of our faces and touted as fact. Yet we were witness to the dreams of the Baby Boomers crumbling to dust around them, trapping them in the ruins of a fantasy gone awry. The outcome: Millions of dysfunctional-pill-popping families huddled around reruns of American Idol searching for warmth and that feeling of Blissful American Connectivity. That feeling may simply not exist any longer. These Baby Boomers are our parents, our grandparents, our aunts and uncles. And for years we’ve watched them feed off one another, intent on surviving, whatever the cost – foe, friend, or family. The shattered reality of their lives has warped the next generation, my generation. It's warped the world we live in, tragically creating mass quantities of numb and careless monsters roaming the nation pretending to be human. The American Dream destroyed the lives of our parents and role models with false promises spat at them with propagandic vigor. What could possibly convince us to hand our lives over in the same misguided way as those before us? Not a god-damn thing. Every day we watch the collapse of civilization approach, in these fatal Oil-War-Years, and nothing else feels quite as good as telling the entire world to go fuck itself."

and i suppose that, is that.





they lied when they said the good die young.